Wednesday, February 8, 2012

If You Give My Boy a Bag of Trash

If you give my boy a bag of trash to take to the outdoor bin...

He will proceed to find his trash-toting gear.  He will need a gun, knife or arrow and perhaps something to help him see better, such as binoculars, or a flash light.  After taking 15 minutes to find this gear, and he will look for it carefully, unlike when he needs to find his belt on Sunday morning, he will finally head out of the door.


Since his hands are full of his trash-toting gear, he won't have a hand free to close the door.  Instead he will leave it hanging open just long enough for the two spaniels to bolt out into the freedom of the backyard.  He will then place the bag down on the ground and run after the dogs.  Chasing the dogs is both fun and hard work.  Along the way he will find other gear that was previously left in the yard on a similar escapade, and his collection will grow.  This means the boy must go get a backpack...

After searching and locating the perfect bag in the bottom of his closet, the current contents are dumped out onto the bedroom floor and the new gear is added.  On the way out of the house he glances in the living room and realizes that he left Madden Football playing on the xbox.  He stops to pause it and then plays a few downs.  This game makes him tense and nervous and he remembers he must get a drink.  As he pours a glass of water at the kitchen sink, he sees the spaniels eating a doll that they pulled from his sister's playhouse, in the backyard.

Forgetting the backpack in the living room he runs out the door to once again capture the dogs.  They decide that he is playing a game and run down the road.  The boy who is tired from all of this work, hops on his bike and chases after them.  It is a beautiful day and before long his mind has wandered and he is now a clone trooper chasing Luke Skywalker and Princess Lea through the woods on a floating motorcycle.

The dogs grow weary and realize that they cannot out run this boy and decide to jump into the marsh.  In an effort to stop he slams on the breaks, skids on a mashed pine cone and a bed of pine straw and wrecks his bike.  Since he cannot ride home and he is hot he proceeds into the marsh with the dogs.  After a period of laughing and romping the spaniels and the mud covered boy walk the bike home.  As he comes through the back door he sees the trash bag, that he was suppose to carry out long ago, but realizes that if he is going to get himself clean before Mom knows he is muddy, he better move quickly and get a shower.  He puts off the trash until after he is clean.

After the shower, he hides the muddy clothes behind the bathroom door...who would think to look there?  Especially when it won't open all the way?  He is practically whistling as he opens the bathroom door and heads down the hall.  Baths make him so happy.

And then he hears it...

His mother is not happy.  His sister is crying...something about her doll not having any feet.

Who left this backpack in the living room?

Where did these footprints come from?

Why are the dogs muddy?

Why is your bike lying on its side in the front yard?

Why is there a huge pile of toys on the floor in your room?

As her voice begins to elevate, her eyes slowly become crazed with frustration, and her shoulders sag with the difficulty of trying to understand how all of this happened during the hour she was out of the house on a bike ride, she asks...

Why didn't you take the trash out?

He picks up his trash-toting gear and the trash bag and heads to the bin. He is no longer whistling and he looks as if he is sorry.  He doesn't know how he forgot this simple task...but there is also a look of she-needs-to-relax and learn to play, in those large dark eyes.
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