2. Sucking ferociously on a bottle.
3. Projectile vomiting the formula.
At this point the process would repeat.
Although I had never been a coffee drinker, within a few months of his arrival it was my means of survival.
There were a few techniques that would bring peace.
If you ran the vacuum cleaner he would instantly hush and many times drift off to sleep. The best combination of events involved placing him in his swing and then running the vacuum until he drifted off. These weren't the fancy swings with batteries or cords, that you can buy now. Rather, these had a crank. A very loud and horribly nerve rattling crank. Some very sadistic toy maker had created this swing and my son would only sleep if it was kept in constant motion.
The other sure fire way to bring peace to your ear drums and ultimately your nervous system, was to take him for a swim. Thankfully, we were living on an island in Florida and I was able to make this happen fairly frequently.
Suffice it to say that I had the cleanest carpet in our apartment complex, consumed vast amounts of coffee, and spent a lot of time in chlorinated water with prune like fingers and toes.
And then he grew up...
And I am proud and thankful to be his mother.
I'll be even prouder when the mother curse - "I hope you have one just like you," comes to pass. I'll make coffee deliveries to his house, and then drive home to sleep peacefully in my warm and comfy bed. And when I see his tired blood shot eyes I'll hug him and say, "Just be grateful that your swing has batterie!"
This post is linked here: Mama Kat's Losin It