Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Here's The Plan

Welcome ladies to the Black Friday strategy meeting.  I hope you enjoy the tea and cakes that I made up for you, and we'll get right down to business.  

Remember when we hit the first store it is important that one person runs through and grabs the items on our list.  The other person will get a cart and wait toward the front of the store.

This placement is important because the aisles will be very full and if you wait to get your bulky cart through, the door busters will be gone.  So work in pairs!  That is so important.  I cannot stress that enough.

Now when your arms are over flowing with goodies you need to find a safe corner of the store, I recommend the underwear or automotive section, and put your belongings down so that you can call your cart contact.  Find out where they are located and head that way with your goods.

If you are new to this Black Hell Friday shopping experience keep in mind that you must guard your cart.  Do not take your eyes off of it.  Treat these door busters like they are your infant or purse.  If you don't, I promise stuff will be stolen right out from under you...all in the name of Christmas..fa la la la la.

When everyone is grouped back in the front of the store we can check out.  And since we will have parked 2 miles from the entrance of the store, when it was dark, and we were sleep deprived, you will want to stay together.  In this way we can use our combined memories to locate the get away vehicle, as everything will look different in the daylight.

And careful driving home.  It is so easy to fall asleep at the wheel after a huge turkey day meal, rising up out of bed at 3am, and after an aggressive Marine-like descent on the sales floor.  Turn up that Christmas music and remember the reason for the season.

P.S. Don't forget to bring the face paint so we can make a sneak attack on those holiday pjs in the children's department!  You may want to pack it in your purse the night before.  Some have taken to carrying pepper spray, but that is just taking this holiday tradition a bit to seriously, if you ask me.
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